Sirius
by Phoenix Artemis Halliwell
Summary: This is a drabble I wrote a while ago consisting of several short stories revolving around one, Sirius Black.


centerb Sirius /center/b

centerediLive, Laugh, Love,

Pain, Fear, Sorrow,

Life!/centered/i

Sirius, sat in the Ministry of Magic's vehicle blankly staring into nothingness. He felt like he wanted to scream, to cry, to simply let the tears fall but, they would not come. His hands were shackled, so that he could not move. The Aurors spit at him treating him like an animal. iWas he?/iThey were taking him to Azkaban, and that scared him but, did he not deserve this for it was ihis fault, they were dead./i

When they arrived at Azkaban, he was thrown into a High Security Cell. They slammed the door, plunging it into darkness. Yet, the darkness was not what scared him, it was the fact that he had to relive, that day, when his heart became nothing more than shattered glass. It hurt as if there was a crushing weight upon his chest he could not breathe properly or move. He want to scream but, his mouth remained silent as his lips and tongue would not move, frozen beyond any pain he had ever felt before. It wasn't pain like the Cruciatus Curse, it was worse for this pain had no relief. He was alone now of that he was sure.

The Dementors came and he was suddenly back at the house. It was in shambles, there was a giant hole where Harry's bedroom used to be and the front door was left wide open. He crossed over the threshold and there on the floor stiff as a board lay Prongs determination still etched in his vacant eyes. He couldn't believe it, he ran upstairs and there in the rubble lying sprawled across the floor was Lily her eyes were just like her husband determined yet, vacant. iNO, this wasn't happening./i He had thought what he was right and that the betrayer was Lupin but, he had been wrong. He felt as if he were falling into oblivion as their faces blank, unmoving, unseen, and dead were flashing before his eyes. He curled up into a ball for nothing was more painful then the fact that he was alive and they were not. He was consumed by grief and anger, he blamed himself ihe should be here tortured, beaten he didn't care if he was innocent through his eyes he was guilty and that scared him./i

He had heard that he was not to have a trial and at this moment he couldn't care less his greatest fears had become a reality and he had to relive it every moment for the rest of his life. He wasn't like the other prisons, he was silent and grief stricken,inormal/i. He was a man broken to the core, he believed inothing/i, could heal the wounds. Fear was easily over come but, for right now he was lost to it.

centered~*~/centered

It was seven in the morning as Sirius walked down the path from the gate to the front door of the Potter's house. It was a bright, shining morning. The sun was up and a warm spring wind was blowing. Sirius knocked on the door, which was answered by Lily, who was wearing a pink Easter dress with a bunny rabbit pattern on it.

"Hello, Padfoot. How are you?" she asked him, smiling.

"I'm gr. . ." He was cut of by a little boy "running," well more like totaling, as fast as he could toward him, yelling "Uhnter Paaaaaadyyyyy. . . fffooooot"

Smiling widely, he picked up his godson Harry, giving his bark of a laugh. Harry, who was carrying a blue egg in his hands, looked up at him and said "Bruber"

"Um, Lily? What is 'Bruber'?" He asked, confused but with a smile.

She laughed and said, "He means Bluebell. He's been calling everything that since we named the cat."

Sirius smiled and threw Harry up into the air to make him smile and laugh. When James arrived, he put Harry down, walked over to his old friend, and clasped arms saying, " I can't stay long. I have some business with the Order."

"Where are you going, Padfoot?" James asked looking worried.

"Sorry, Prongs can't say. But, don't worry Prongs; I'll be fine."

"Sure, make us worry more," Lily scoffed.

"Don't worry. It's not like I'm going with Moony to hunt," he said sarcastically.

"I heard that Padfoot, you know," said a calm, tired voice from behind him, which made Sirius jump and spin around to come face to face with Remus.

"MOONY! Bloody Merlin's Pants of Hell! Don't do that!"

"You did deserve it though, Padfoot," said James teasingly.

"All right, boys, settle down."

"What, us? We're not causing you any trouble, now, are we Prongs?" asked Sirius teasingly.

"Well, Ma'am, I believe Padfoot's right; we aren't causing any trouble," James responded teasingly back.

"Come on," Remus said.

centered~*~/centered

Sirius said his goodbyes and Apparated outside of the Shrieking Shack where Albus Dumbledore stood worried. Then he was back, back in his cold, dark cell. Tears started running down his face as the images of their happy faces looked back at him. He wondered, if he were ever to meet Harry again, would he forgive him? Why could he not just. . . what? He did not know. He buried his face in his hands, finally letting the tears come free for the first time in seven years.

centered~*~/centered

centered_i~Seven years later~/i_/centered

Sirius woke up with a jerk and shocked himself. As he came to, he could hear the cries of his "cell mates." Again Sirius woke and sat straight up. He was in a cave deep in the Forbidden Forest, hiding from the Dementors. In the distance he could he a wolf cry:_ ia werwolf?i _Sirius fell out of bed, waking up in midair, panting, sweat pouring down his face and dripping off his nose. As he calmed down, his breathing remained shaky. He hated nightmares, and this one had been one of the worst. He dared not close his eyes for fear of a relapse. It was as if he had fallen into a Pensieve, reliving nightmare after nightmare. Sirius was curled into a ball, still shaking; he could still hear and see everything from Lily and James's bodies to Snape's taunting face when he almost was to be fed to the Dementors.

His head was playing games with him and he wanted out. He yelled but quickly covered his mouth - too late, as footsteps resounded, running up the stairs. A few minutes later, Remus was in the room next to him, looking beyond worried.

centered~*~/centered

centeredi_Remus looked down at his friend. He had never in his life seen Sirius like this. He had always been the first to make a joke out of something, the first to laugh, but never hid in fear or terror. Yet there he was, on the floor in a complete mess and for the first time Remus realized what a toll Azkaban had had on his friend_. _And, according to Sirius, he had been LUCKY?/centered/i_

centered~*~/centered

Sirius couldn't smile or even say anything; he was still too scared. He was stunned. Harry looked so much like James that now his brain was playing tricks on him. But that wasn't the worst part; he kept waking up in the dreams to a new dream that he was starting to have trouble making out reality and that scared him the most. Was he going insane or something? i_Like Azkaban hadn't made him crazy enough./i_

He had been lucky in a-lot-of things including the fact that he was alive when he should be dead. i_Luck, right;/i _sometimes he just wished he could die but then he would remember Harry. Blinking, he slowly came to; he looked up at Remus and smiled, saying, "Ol' Prongs would have had a field day about this."

Remus chucked and added, "And he would have made sure you never forgot it."

Sirius let out his bark of a laugh and smiled at the image of James imitating him in a humorous manor yet knowing that ifJames had teased him, he would have done it in a way that would in turn make him feel good and that was one of the thing he missed the most.

centered~*~/centered

Sirius heard a tapping on his window and there outside it was a bird with a letter addressed to him. He walked over to the window and opened it taking the letter he saw Snuffles in Harry's writing scrawled a crossed it so, he tore it open and read—oh Merlins pans. "Remus, I have to go." He shouted as he hurriedly rote harry a response and handed it to Hebwige.

centered~*~/centered

centeredi~A Few Months Later~/centered

"_Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher — the old crowd." (HP Goblet of Fire)/i_

Sirius was running on all fours through a dark woods somewhere in the highlands of Scotland towards an old shack on the outskirts of the next valley, where Remus was staying for the moment. He was near exhaustion, having to Apparate... i_How many times?/i_ He had lost count. This time he had Apparated outside the forest and decided to run the rest of the way because he really did not wish to isplinch/i himself sence he had never been here before.

Finally, he arrived and Remus opened the door.

Sirius was siting on the couch warming himself by the fire. Remus was looking at him, concerned, and it was getting on Sirius' nervous._ "iWhat?"/i _he barked at Remus.

"You're worried about him, aren't you?" It wasn't a question.

"Well, Hell I am! He's my godson, and I had to make him go back to those... people, and after all he has been through..."

"I now but, Dumbledore..."

"Dumbledore, Shmunledor. Damn it, Moony, I can't just leave him there."

"Padfoot,.." Remus began again.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. It's just that it feels a bit like Lily and James died for Harry just so, that Voldemort would . . . would. . wo. ." Sirius's voice cracked; the grief that had plagued him ever since Lily and James' death poured out once-more in tears. Remus squeezed his shoulder and Sirius looked up to see tears in his eyes.

"I miss them too, Sirius. i_I miss them too./i_ But we have to remain strong for them, for Harry."

"Yes, you are right Remus, you are right." At that Sirius leaned back and closed his eyes, falling into a sleep full of good times and happy memories. For the first time in a long time, Sirius smiled in his sleep.


End file.
